Like a fleeting breeze that is here for a moment and then gone the next, so everything has changed in my reality.
Nothing is the same as it was before.
On the evening of Sunday, October 16, 2011 my beautiful mother passed away into the arms of Jesus after a year long battle with sickness that overwhelmed her body.
At the young age of 53, my mother's race has come to an end. The tasks the Lord set before her have been completed.
I never said she could go...
There is so much I wish I could have asked her...you know, just about everything, and life, and stuff, and never got the chance to...Didn't think I wouldn't have all the time in life to do so...
So much more I would have liked to tell her.
I wish I could give her more kisses and hugs. Tell her another hundred times how much I love her and how beautiful she is.
There is a great sweeping void that has been left in my life. It's crushing.
I miss my mom.
However as I sit here thinking about it...I shouldn't really be speaking in the past tense about her because she is not gone, not really truly gone...
No...she is alive and well.
She is just not here with us on earth. She is just beyond the veil that separates the heavens and the earth.
With the angels and Jesus and a whole cloud of believers.
I can't wait to see her again. I get excited when I think of all she is doing right now. I wonder who she is meeting...what she is experiencing...
I can only imagine the celebrating and joy she must be feeling now to be free from all the pain and anguish she faced every day for a year.
She was a Godly woman who loved serving the Lord and serving her family.
She was a phenomenal elementary teacher that her students and co-workers loved.
She was a virtuous woman, cherished by her husband.
She was an exceptional, outstanding and nurturing mother whom her three children adored.
She was a caring, loving daughter and sister to her parents and brother.
I wanted to honor her here...
But my words could never do justice to the surge of emotions I feel. To try and sum up a life in anything less than forever is, well... It just seems futile.
I hope and pray I will be half the woman she was on earth.
She was so amazing.
Full of patience, lovely, kind and self-sacrificing.
The best cook around.
Encouraging and super supportive.
Loved watching a good period drama flick...a true aficionado :)
She displayed monumental courage daily in the face of herculean giants...
This woman was truly astounding and inspiring. Her example in living will give me strength and motivation until the day I breathe my last here on earth.
In the 7 months that she spent in the hospital, I never once saw her cry. I never saw her give in. She was quick with that beautiful smile of hers. Quick to make us all feel that everything would be ok. That God is sovereign and faithful. That no matter what, it will all make sense in the end when we face our maker.
That although we question why? and how come?... we can ultimately rest in the goodness of God. That He is sovereign and all His ways are just. That He may allow crazy things to happen but it doesn't mean his heart isn't breaking along with ours. That one day...one day we will understand why it had to be this way...
This is a fallen and broken world we live in...
Thank God, this earthly life isn't the culmination. As a son and daughter of the Living God...it's only the beginning.
And I take great comfort in the fact that I will see her again soon...just not yet :)
I love you mom.
I love you mom.
Jesus said to her, I am the Resurrection and the Life. Whoever believes in and trusts in Me,
although he may die, yet shall he live;
And whoever continues to live and believes in Me shall never [actually] die at all. Do you believe this?
She said to Him, Yes, Lord, I do believe that You are the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of God, Who was to come into the world. [It is for Your coming that the world has waited.]
John chapter 11:25-27 (Holy Bible) amp